Ahhhhhhhh!

Oh My

Please everyone; take a deap (ha, ha, I like that spelling. I must have been thinking of Johnny Dep). Let’s start over; take a deep breath, relax and then exhale toward Wolcott New York because I am about to go insane. My worry stone has imprints in it from rubbing it so much, I’m out of Lorazipam and now have even MORE wrinkles on my forehead. Too much is happening too fast and of course with me there is always a wee little glitch in everything. Not too bad this time but always a wee glitch.
As I’ve told you, there are probably about 7 towns in this county but it is amazing how roads compare from location to location. I grew up here and lived here until around 21 and I would say that I knew where all the towns were and how to get to them and even what shortcuts. They were all two-lane highways, mostly countryside. All were pretty much straight and perpendicular to each other. So I moved to Los Angeles and refused to drive. I’m sure you have seen on television what the highways are like. Once you are in a lane, you stay in that lane and you move at about 75 miles per hour. Too bad if you get a flat tire. Actually, Los Angeles is a bit like Boston.

So I move to Maine and it takes a few years to not get lost all the time. You get used to the fact that the roads are arcs and circles going around rocks and trees and up and down hills and that everyone drives in the middle of the road because for some reason the roads are made with a hill in the middle (to have the water run off?) but people travel pretty much at a reasonable speed. Just watch out for turkeys and cows crossing the road.
Then I move back to the exact same place I started out from. Same roads. Same towns. Same countryside with straight and perpendicular roads only now everyone is is a BIG hurry. And, I keep getting lost! Trees are larger or missing completely. New houses have been built, old ones painted, curves straightened out. Point is you plan a time limit to get somewhere and are always late! I know where I am but I don’t know how to get there! You get halfway there and you wonder how the heck you got to that place and why you are going in that direction. So, guess who was late for jury duty (all though, just in time to have my name called to be interviewed). Then I ask to affirm rather than swear and they start asking all these questions that don’t make any sense. And, you have to tell all this personal information and everyone can hear it. Jeeze, even my Dentist was there! The limit was when the attorney stated “now remember, this trial is just for rape, not forcible rape. We are not judging if the rape was forced”. I wait for one of the pod people in the courtroom to say something. Not a thing! So I say “excuse me but how could you consider it rape if it wasn’t forced?” All hell breaks loose, everyone in the courtroom starts laughing and rolling on the floor. When things calm down the Judge tells me that I am not to ask the attorney questions, I am to ask the Judge questions. Anyway, I wasn’t chosen so that’s over with.
Then at 7:30 is the Town Supervisors Meeting. Another Lorazipam. Big mistake because it was a very, very long boring meeting mostly about hiring someone to cut the weeds in the bay this summer, buying a new truck and which account to take the money out for each. Finally, at the end it was the unanimous decision to hire me as the Town Historian. HOORAY!!!!! And, to make it even better, I’ll make $.69 per hour!!! I was elated but didn’t have a hard time going to sleep.
This morning first thing I had to go into the town hall with my social security card and my driver’s license. Driver’s license – no problem but the last time I saw my SS card was years ago when Paul’s bank that employed him was purchased by a company in India and there was a chance that he would have to go over there for a couple of weeks and I was darned if I wasn’t going over with him. So I got the SS cards, the Birth Certificates (which took a few weeks for me because I was born at a Military Base) and the questionnaires together, clipped them and put them on his desk for when he had a chance to go with me to get our pictures for our passports. Of course, Paul didn’t even remember India much less where the folder was. Now, his office and the upstairs bathroom which are his are not entered by me unless there is an emergency. He puts his dirty clothes in a basket by the door, I plug my nose, reach in to get them and quickly close the door and that’s it. So, no SS card. I took the piece of paper that your SS card is ripped from and my letter from the SS with what I will be getting which luckily had my number on it into the town hall and they took it. For now. And that doesn’t help with our birth certificates.
Then since my Mother had a stint inserted last week I went over to see her for a while and my whole day is shot.
I have homework to do on a web course that I am taking that is due soon.
Saturday my daughter is taking us to dinner for our anniversary and we are going shopping.
Sunday I’m going with a friend to see Hamlet.
Next Sunday is a Handling Seminar that is about 3 hours away.
Remember that this is an Agraphobic speaking that never leaves the house. SEND CALM PLEASE!!!

Soon they hit the rocks!

News from Huron, the Famous Resort City on Lake Ontario in NY (Meaning NOT New York City!

So, today is the day that I report to the courthouse to be “a potential juror”. I’ve only been worrying about this for two years when I got out of it because I was sick. Then, two months ago I got the dreaded letter that I had to fill out and return and then one month ago I got the summons and then today I have to be there by 9:15.
The good news is that at the moment it is not snowing. I think it is about 20 miles through the countryside and this has been a horrible winter for snow and of course I’m worrying about blowing snow because it is windy. I’ll have to bring my worry stone.
Paul woke me up on time. OMG! it was dark. I am so spoiled from not having to travel to a job. I get up, pick up the house, get dressed and start on the computer anywhere from 11:00 to 2:00 and only work to 5:00 or 6:00 then eat and iron, sew, whatever while watching a movie and then to bed. The dogs keep me on schedule. Like right now, as soon as I put on my sneakers, all four are lined up at the door because this week my Mother discombobulated me by have a stint put in and I’ve been out every day. Usually I dust the floor with my socks.
What to wear? Nothing formal, no rags, so I picked a sweater, skinny jeans and (believe it or not) matching sneakers. LOL! The sweater is yellow and blue, the skinny pants are blue and the sneakers are yellow and blue.http://aussiemagicvintiques.wordpress.com/wp-admin/media-upload.php?post_id=506&type=image&TB_iframe=1
What to take with me? A book, naturally I’m reading a big hard cover (Phelps and Gorham Purchase by Thomas), teeny weeny stickers for the book because I’m taking a teeny weeny purse, my license, my medical records, and, because I don’t worry, my DNR instructions, two Kleenex, my lorazipam for when I won’t take the oath because I’m a member of the Religious Society of Friends. I may chicken out on that one and a LARGE bottle of Jim Beam for the courtroom because I’m sure the Judge will need it. Oh drats, I thought I would get by the security check without having to put my stuff in a tray but I forgot about the keys. Should I leave my coat in the car so I don’t have to hassle with it? They confiscate your phones so I’ll leave that there. (Not that I ever use it which makes my daughter want to steal my lorazipam.
What a week. Mother is fine and I THINK I almost have a job as the Town of Huron Historian! It pays $.67 per day but I’m excited anyway AND I got my first Social Security check so I’m RICH! My husband is very excited that this will help him pay the bills (he thinks). I sort of celebrated by buyins some more dog-show clothes and shoes and entering Karla into some shows. And, knowing me, I called my handler (OMG he has grey hair now) to stand by for Syracuse and Springfield. The first two are matches and handling seminars so I can pretend I’ve never seen a dog leash before. This puppy is so shy! I took her over to see Mom and there were three other dogs there and my sister and brother-in-law and, as usual, we all have such similar views (not) that when someone started I about the Tea Party and Obama, Karla jumped on my lap and it was three to one and we argued to my coat and gloves and slipped out the door. I have to do some more research so I can back my opinions up. I didn’t even know who the Koch brothers were and I pronounced the entirely wrong way. Well, I should have known…Henceforth keep thy mouth shut on religion and politics! I’m going to be just wonderful working for the town! LOL! That is, if I live through this day or get picked for a trial that is 12 months long. Where is that worry stone???
As usual, my house is a complete disaster because the floor washer is broken and I ordered the parts 1/20 and they shipped them 2/16. I think I need to hire Billy across the street to use his plow in here. Karla’s favorite toys are the dust balls and she looks kind of like a wire fox terrier of a strange color when she comes up to me. I also need to go through Petfinders and pull the Aussies to list on Australian Terriers International. I should get RC involved in that. Some of those people really need his advice and vice versa but I’m not sure how much he uses Facebook. Another favorite place in Dunham Lake Aussies where Karla came from. I can honestly say that with the exception of four people they are my best friends. However, it isn’t time to worry about Colorado yet and stuffing Karla in the air pod. She isn’t going cargo even if I have to cut her legs and tail off.
Well, noodles, that’s the news and all the news from the Miller Zoo in Huron. Visits are allowed – $10.00 for adults and $5.00 for children. Beds and food extra. But, you ain’t gonna find Huron, NY, anyway. It’s in a black hole although it does have a web site AND MAYBE MY NAME WILL BE ON IT!!!!! They really like me a lot because of my mouth. That was my 10th application. LOL!!!

Do We Have To Be Crazy?

I actually think that I have made a new human friend. You may not believe how important this is to me because I very rarely go out of the house. The last time I went out of the house was yesterday when I called my Mother and asked her if she would like some scalloped potatoes and the said “yes”. So, I decided to do all my errands at once. I needed a piece of plastic to go over my quilt and rack because my Husband doesn’t realize that it isn’t a table; so hardware was #l. Of course Jim Beam at the liquor store was #2, prescription pick up at Rite Aid was #3, Mom was #4 and then the blissful drive back home.
Well, I’m not in the habit of stopping at the hardware and I multitask way, way too much and I had Karla to show her off to my mother so I completely forgot the plastic. (Next time). Then to the liquor store for the JB and I could take Karla out for that one because they have a miniature Terrier and actually know what an Australian Terrier is. We chatted for a while and I forced Karla back into the airpod carrier, strapped her to the seatbelt, got in, inserted keys, started car and couldn’t get it out of park. For 15 minutes I tried. My arm actually got sore. So, back it was into the liquor store to ask if I could use their phone. “sure”, so I called Paul, he answered and said he would be right there with the Jeep. Five minutes later they got a call for me and it ws Paul asking where the key dish was. Well I had just cleaned and rearranged for company so how was I supposed to know? It was close so he said he would walk. However he did find the keys.
This was good because there was a very old tramp that fell in love with Karla and was cornering me into two buildings.

"Ha Ha, I'm sleeping on the coooouuuuch!

“Ha Ha, I’m sleeping on the coooouuuuch!


Paul did find the keys on the other table. duh! and started my car with the first try which really really made me angry. This happens all the time in front of the liquor store! Do you know how embarrassing this is?
Well, on to the Rite Aid which went without a hitch although I did remember that I had forgotten to bring the scalloped potatoes. Home again and on to Moms. Food delivered and home to collapse. And you wonder why I don’t leave the house!
Of course, even when I stay in the yard things strange happen. One time I was chasing papers in the spring and putting them in a plastic bag and there was a plastic bottle in the ditch and one of our wastecans that had blown down the hill. I gently stepped into the ditch and went to my waist. I had purchased hip waders for this special purpose but I guess I should have purchased a boat. The hip waders filled with cold, cold water and I couldn’t get my feet out of them because of the suction.. Also I was sinking further and further. Well, I thought about it after a while and realized that no one knew I was there and no rescue was going to happen, I leaned over the trash barrel like it was a horse and slipped out of my boots. Safe! I could have died out there and Paul would never have knonw.
Anyway, back to current fall weather which is actually beautiful this year (late or not) I have decided that this year I don’t need to rake or carry wicker furniture or do anything at all except follow Karla around the house to take things out of her mouth. Paul and I looked at each other and he asked me if maybe we were getting too old to have an aussie puppy. Unfortunately, I told him that she was absolutely perfect and would get her Championship in one show and I was going to breed her when she is three and I was sure she would have at least 20 puppies.
Today, now that I have semi-recuperated from picking her up in WI, I actually go back to two of my computer classes. One is about preserving materials and the other is called “canine thereogenealogy”, which may give you a clue as to how I am doing. Can they not speak in laywoman’s terms or at least have two different classes? One for Vets and mds and one for dummies? I also got a corner of my computer desk cleared.
Actually all I want to do is work on my vintage handkerchief quilt. I saw a BEAUTIFUL one today but it was machine stitch. This means that my hand-stitched one will take much longer. Also, did I tell you I have a new cell phone? Now if I can only figure out how to get my 69 messages from it..
Another thing that is a problem this week is that I have familiar/essential tremor (although I don’t look like Katheryn Hepburn, and I went to a neurologist because I thought it was Parkinsons. He said that it was tremor and put me on phenobarbital and that I may have some side effects in the beginning. I looked it up between naps and realized that one was sleepiness and another was seeing crosseyed so pray for this spellchecker to work.
Since my hubby is figuring out his new Nikkow 7100 I don’t have any pictures but you wait. You will be so sick of Karla that you will love her as much as me!
Noodles!