I Love Electricity

Even though you didn’t notice that I have been missing, I have now returned.  After weeks of cleaning the house, I was so sick of it that I ran to my camp in the Adirondacks.  Unfortunately, this camp is almost totally off the grid.

To prepare myself, I loaded up my laptop, purchased a new cell phone and a Jet Pack, packed our Hot Spot and brought our two marine batteries and battery charger in case it was needed.  I emptied drawers of 1/3 shorts, 1/3 capries and 1/3 long pants with matching shirts but, of course, no jacket because it was very warm.  I stayed until day before yesterday.

It was very strange, but beautiful, up there because I was totally by myself most times.  When I got there I proceeded to hook up one of the marine batteries to the camper to run the hot water heater, furnace, and water pump.  As a short lesson to all those who have not had to hook up batteries + (positive) does not mean that it is a wonderful thing.  What it DOES mean is that you will positively get burnt if you put the – (negative) wires on that side.  – (negative) does not mean bad news.  It means that it is not hot and you must put the black wires on that side.  After hooking up the wires, going into the camper and realizing that I couldn’t start the refrigerator, I went out to check if the wires were loose and smelled burning plastic.  This was the plastic around the wires that was turning into goop.  Running into the camper, I grabbed the pot holders and switched the wires thus I know:  + (positive) means positively hot.  I then went in and started the fridge, went out and turned on the water tank and started the hot-water heater.  There are three little hoses in this and you have to remember which one to hold the lighter on because that one is the pilot.  You also have to remember how to work the dial.  After a little trial and error, it started.

Meanwhile, Karla and Sam were screaming that they had to go quick so we had our first walk.  Having been told that a huge bear had been sighted around our camper and that they had released nuisance bears up there it was a very short walk.  Back to the camper, unload the car and try to call home to say I was safe and sound.  However, since it was a cloudy day, the phone kept cutting off and I wasn’t ready to use the Jet Pack which was advertised as having your very own hot spot.  Wrong.  I did finally get the Jet Pack, which had no instructions to work with my cell and the laptop but you still had to be out of doors to use them.  Also, since there are large power lines up there the batteries of everything are sucked empty within a day so my car was continually running to recharge them because the Hot Shot didn’t want to work at all and when I tried to charge the cell with it, it just sucked the rest of the charge out of it.

Since coming home, I have been running around in heaven just turning off and on lights and have never left my land line or computer.

Of course, as we all know – I don’t cook.  However, after one month of practice I can fry eggs and toast bread on the burners of the stove and heat soup.  My sister came up, we went grocery shopping and I learned that if it is 10 for 10 you don’t have to purchase 10.  We also went to the laundry mat and after stuffing six washers we both learned that there are three different sizes of washers and it probably would have been easier to use the big ones.  AND they do not take Canadian coins.

Rich, a newly made friend in town taught me that if my cell goes completely dead that you have to use a wall plug to reset it, that even if you recharge the Hot Shot for 24 hours it still won’t work and that that horrible noise that your car makes when you are backing up and that you are petrified is the transmission or transmission joints is really the fact that you are backing up and scraping rocks while you are doing so.

Of course things started going even more south when the temperature started dropping.  I did know that if I used the furnace that it would wear out the battery within a couple of days so I got out the Mr. Heater, went into town and purchased all of the little green gas bottles at Stewarts (and by the way, I am now very proficient at filling a gas tank).  At $5.00 per bottle I found that if you light three kerosene lamps at a time, they will heat the trailer just as well.

During the days I worked a little on my historical duties, read and napped.  Oh, and tried to catch that dang frog who knew exactly how long my arm was so it could get out of reach.  I really wanted to catch it and turn it into a prince but perhaps next year…

I’m proud that I did it by myself because it was lonely, cold and, at times, pretty scary.  I could have used more support from here but regardless at the time, I had to do it for personal reasons and I think that I know that I can take care of myself now if needs be.  I don’t have to stay here if I don’t want and I found that there are certain people that I can count on to hold on to the other end of the rope if I fall.  There are those that feel that I shouldn’t have gone up there on my own but I feel that since I didn’t take unnecessary risks and no bears ate me or the dogs that things went pretty darn well.

I sure did miss the computer though!

Now, I feel a craving to go turn on and off some lights and the furnace!

Oh!  And one more thing….you can do it, too.


Cats, Kittens, Dogs, Love

Well, Mama cat moved her kittens and I have to say I’m a wee bit disappointed because I REALLY liked the grey and black one with black ears but I have to say that I can’t imagine why she put them where she did in the first place.  To back track for those of you not on Face Book (is there anyone not on Face Book?) we have a screened in, very large porch on the back of our house.  The dog yard is at right angles to the porch and three or four days ago the dogs started going ballistic.  As usual, when they start going ballistic, I go out and check to see if it is a chipmunk sitting up sticking out its tongue at them or a rabbit leaning on the chain link or a cat walking through the field or a loose dog of the neighbors that I should take home.  This time they were going ballistic at the gas tank.

I don’t worry about my dogs but thought it might be a poisonous toad or snake or that one of them had their foot caught somewhere or maybe a rat or something was attacking them so I rushed out through their side door, squeezed through their porch railing hole and ran down their ramp to them.  They were telling me that it was something horrible but I couldn’t see one darn thing.  Because I don’t worry about them I made them come into the house and shut the door just in case.

Then I went out to the back porch which has very long steps down to the ground because we are on a hill and stood at the top of the steps and looked over them and there……there was a Mama feral cat (guaranteed because I knew her and I can’t get close to her), black and white with three little kittens.  The other two were black and white.  I also know the father who is a beautiful solid grey color.

Immediately, I didn’t start worrying about them.  It was a pretty silly place to have kittens – not really protected, about 1.5 feet from the dog chain link fence and only protected from the rain if it came from the North.  I quickly ran and got my hubby and he looked at me and said “leave them alone”.  So, because I don’t worry I called a “no kill shelter” who said “leave them alone because they need their mother’s milk right now and she will take care of them”.  So, very disappointed, I left them alone.  At lunch I took out my turkey sandwich which was loaded with turkey and leaned over and darned if the turkey didn’t slip out.  Oh well, since I had to leave them alone I just left the turkey there.

The next morning I had the rest of the turkey from the package in my sandwich (I was really hungry) and darned if that didn’t slip out also!  Mama and babies were still there.  Actually, I met her eyes and she looked at me pretty calmly.  For the second day the dogs weren’t allowed outside (and I wonder why they aren’t housetrained!).  The third day Paul bar-b-qued chicken and I am such a klutz I dropped a huge hunk of it.  Please note that all traces of turkey had disappeared and Mama was still there was babies. 

That evening we had a huge thunder storm from the south.  I wanted to go out and get them or cover them or something but felt it really was best for Mama to figure out that that was not a good place and to take them into the barn whose door I had forgotten to close.  This morning they were gone.  After daydreaming and dropping my tuna sandwich I decided that I would go out tomorrow and look for them.  Not aggressively but just go out and look around.  Not that I want a kitten but the were SO cute.  Strangely enough my hubby told me that he knew they were gone.  He gave me one of those parental stares but didn’t say anything about turkey or tuna fish or chicken.  I miss them but the dogs are sure glad to be outside.  Now the only problem I had was having to go out because Karla was petrified of a toad (which is good) and wouldn’t stop barking so I had to do the door, rail hole ramp thing again and pick up that awful-feeling pitch black thing and throw it over the fence.  I have to look up toads to see if they change colors like lizards according to where they are because I found a grey one on the cement in the basement.

Aside from two catastrophes of health of two dear friends, all else is fine.  I have decided that it is not fun to get old.  I still can’t walk and have to solve that problem.  I have also decided that it is up to us to find out what is wrong with us and to decide which medicines are good for us and inform our doctors because they don’t have a clue.  They don’t know how we feel and can only guess and now that we have the internet we can at least look things up for ourselves.  If we are lazy and rely totally on our doctors then it is our fault if we don’t know the problem.   Unfortunately, some problems cannot be solved but at least if we know what it is then we can wrap our minds around it and make the right decisions on what to do or not do.

I want to say that I do so appreciate all of you listening to me rant on about stuff.  It is so much less expensive than paying for a therapist.  I do wish you could write prescriptions though!!!

Hope you and yours are well.


The dog show is over and Karla and I are back from Colorado almost safe and sound.  My brain seems to be functioning again after two weeks and Karla now thinks she is Queen of the pack (but she still takes a wide berth around Sam who is REALLY cranky lately). 

We met new friends and old friends and only one really stupid person (which I brought to her attention).  I was sure I wouldn’t recognize anyone after so many years but guess what?  They didn’t recognize me!!!  Am I that much older looking?  Everything went as per usual.  Since my feet hurt, we took the easy way and asked for a wheelchair.  Why doesn’t everyone do that I wonder?  For a tip they zip you right to your gate thank goodness.  It has been so long since I have flown from a large airport I just couldn’t believe that you had to take a train to a plane! 

I had sedatives for Karla thank goodness!  I put her into her Airpod which slides over the handle of the suitcase.  The wheelchair pusher parked us at the gate.  I let go of the handle.  Karla wiggled.  The case and Karla fell over.  I grabbed for her.  The wheelchair fell over.  The entire terminal ran over to stare at the poor disabled lady on the floor who was helped up by the stewardess who stood beside me until I was on the plane.  I then gave Karla a sedative and ate my portion of the three peanuts shared by all the passengers.  At Chicago where I changed planes I noticed that Karla had her head stuck between the metal bar in her bag and the mesh and was just hanging there.  The company has yet to answer my letter.

Theresa and Chris came to get me which was very nice of them because I forgot the time change which made it at 10:30 pm and everyone had to get up early in the morning.  They were even nice enough to drive through McDonalds so I could eat.  I shared my burger with Karla and that was the end of her eating kibble…still.  (By the way, I absolutely love Chris and his son!) 

Monica was my chauffeur.  I think she wanted to put a tag on me with my name and address because I was so exhausted that I could never remember where her car was or make any decisions.  The only decision I made was that I WANT ARCHER!  He is absolutely adorable and could do one of Beamer’s tricks.  That was jumping back and forth from bed to bed.  I was in stitches.  I think though that he was as nervous as I.  Archer’s arrows go straight to Monica’s heart so I doubt she will let me have him.

Karla turned into this thing.  Here is this shy dog that I was worried about even taking into the hotel that saw a Great Dane and tried to attack it!  Good grief!!!  She was even patient when it took me about five tries to get my door open and pretended not to hear what I said when I broke my coffeepot.  The maid left a nice note:  1.  Turn on power, 2. put thingee in thing.  Leave thingee in thing because the hole you made is not to pour the coffee into the where the water goes, 3. pour water into water hole (they could label them) and press “brew”.

One of the shows Karla and the other undocked Aussie were dismissed from the ring.  I was so angry that I cried because I could see that yes, having a tail is not in the standard but I guess having feet pointing in all directions and a head on backwards is just fine.  Pamela saw that I was about to go in and kill the judge so she made me sit down and talked me into just asking the judge if they were dismissed because of their tails.  Of course the answer was “OH NO!”.  I actually smiled, shook her hand and left.  None of the tailed Aussies did as well as I expected.  Karla won her class but that was about it.  Karla felt like she had to ride in the back of the bus and drink out of a special water fountain just because her spine wasn’t amputated.

We had a wonderful party with the dogs and people running together at a beautiful house hosted by Katrina and David.  The next door neighbor came out of his door with a black lab, saw all these Aussies coming around the corner one by one non stop, turned around and went back in his door.  It really was hysterical.

Finally sad goodbyes and I go up to the desk to pay and they charge me over $100 per night!  I still have to straighten that one out.  Luck was with me again with Pamela walking up at the same time to tell them it should be just $80 something.  Of course the manager wasn’t there.  So later.

Got home smoothly due to wheelchair pushers and crashed.  In the middle of the night I wake up screaming because my back hurt so much.  I stood up and my feet didn’t hurt at all.  You figure that out.  I gulped one of  Hubby’s back pills and went to the foot doctor as scheduled and found that I had plantar fasciitis (sp).  So, he molded little ballerina shoes with COLD water and I will get the insoles in the mail.  I set up an appointment for the back.  Next day I thought I had the Camel flu but half-way through the day realized that I forgot to take my pills.

I’m not even going to mention what happened with my wonderful historian job and hubby and I decided to go up North tomorrow for the rest of the week so something else could happen bad to me (aside from the fact that we are having a difficult time selling our house and now they are putting a machine shop next to us).  This is in an agricultural zone.

Well, now that you all know that things have been normal with me I bid you adieu and warn you that you should probably stay as far away from me as you can!


So here we go again.  Everything is under control but only because I am following along by hanging onto it.

Three day ago the six of us (Paul and I, Spider, Sam, HarryIt, Karla) got all groomed and (except Karla) , packed up the car and trailer with plastic buckets filled with clean towels, rugs and linens and other sundries that we would use this summer and headed up north to Camp.   Halfway there the brakes started groaning and grinding and the tarp started unraveling but we made it.  Everything was in good shape except for a small hole in the corner of the Camper Trailer which meant that all lines that were there had to be taken home to be dried and that next trip up will be spent sealing the roof.  Our fault as our daughter had been ragging at us to do that every year.

This was Karla’s first VACATION and all dogs knew that word except her.  She didn’t even get excited when the suitcases were bring brought out.  Once in the car she decided that she was to have the space between and behind the front buckets and sat and watched the scenery for 2.5 hours while all the others were asleep in their normal places.  It was a learning experience for her completely so Paul and I never left them to go into town once we got there.  We just ran over and borrowed our daughters stuff that we had forgotten.  This was a good thing because even though we call Karla “Goofy” she ain’t so dumb.  Just kind of klutzy.  The first thing she did was push out one of the screens as I was walking by but she learned that that was a “no no” and I could use some suggestions as to how to keep that from happening again.  Next she learned how to walk (while very excited about the new smells) in the woods.  What fun to run around a tree with me running around calling her to come back so we could unwind.  Then she learned that you poop when you are on a leash outside.  At home I just open the door to the dog yard.  This was all good practice for the Colorado Specialty coming up.  She learned each of those things within an hour.  Oh yes, she learned how six can sleep in a queen sized bed during a thunder storm in a tin can.

The way home the brakes were a bit louder but no one seemed to mine except us.  It’s amazing how long 2.5 hours feels with grinding brakes.  Luckily the camp is in the foothills of the Adirondacks and not the middle or other side and on the return the trailer was mostly full of laundry and not eaten food.  There were more birds up there than I had ever heard.  More bugs maybe?  There sure were a lot of mosquitos!  I even heard a thrush – my very favorite bird.

Everyone was happy to be home and attacked each other going through the door.  My new insoles which help with the footsie pain a bit arrived in the mail and I started grooming Karla for the show.  Not too hard because I had kept her up and I got everything done but her legs.  I am NOT happy with her tail set.  Of course you can’t see it because unless she is really excited about seeing Mr. Wabbit outside you can’t tell.  It was amazing how much hair came out when I had stripped her down to nothing before.  And as for her nails – I swear to you that I drew no blood but she screamed and acted like I was amputating her foot off.

Today I was lucky and got an appointment with my orthopedist who liked my insoles and took several standing xrays of my footsies and told me that my feet were built correctly, there were no broken bones any more and he couldn’t find one thing wrong and referred me to a podiatrist when I get back to the show.  This is good news, but it is bad news.  Then we went on to the Vets (Paul had to drive because it hurts to drive standard and I wasn’t going to drive that brakeless thing, and Karla was very brave and wagged her tail at all the other small and big dogs and wanted to play.  She got her health certificate and clearance for heartworm and lyme and then slept on my lap all the way home.   She’s still sleeping so I won’t tell her she has another grooming session tonight.

Meanwhile, I’m going to take a nap.



Gee, Golly, a New Post

TheodoreReynWarrisRobertsMeekerBarnHas anyone ever tried to find an official Sean Penn website for fans? How can I tell him that I really love him. Anyone that can act that well and have such a wonderful smile and help save people in Mississippi should be loved by everyone. And, to play a rock star like Cheyenne – well that was pretty special I think. Perhaps this message will get to him via the grape-vine post. This is another thing…what do you picture when you think of a grape-vine post? I think that English may be a very strange language. My mind normally is going in about ten different directions at once and when people are talking to me I must look pretty stupid because I’m thinking of all sorts of different meanings for their words. I think this is why I never could balance my check book because if you have a dollar here and have made a mistake there why can’t you correct it using that dollar that is over there? Thank goodness for online banking as long as you remember to CHECK YOUR BALANCE before using Paypal. There is another one. Check your balance when you aren’t even writing a check?
Which is why I love my dogs. We have our own special language and we understand each other completely. Perhaps in my past life I was a dog. The words are in the body language. But what happens when you are blind? Can you still have dogs? You can have horses because when you ride them, they go where they want anyway so that would be easy. Or cows would be neat because then you wouldn’t see them licking their noses. But dogs?
My foot is still broken but I insisted on a new rental. That van was like a semi. I wonder why they gave a seven seater to two people? We traded it for a Volkswagon Airbag. At least that is what it says on the dash. It’s a little sedan and has a real clock and the dials are pretty much like my Subaru’s are. The only problem is that I was so spoiled by being able to see so well in the Subaru. This one of those sedans that have smaller windows so being only 5’1″ I can’t see well over the dashboard so I have to lift the seat up which means that I have to bring the seat forward to reach the pedal which means that my knee is crammed between the seat and the steering wheel which means that I have to raise the steering wheel which means that I can’t see over the steering wheel. However, I can drive it and I suppose if I really wanted to see, I could look between the top of the steering wheel and the dash. However, who wants to see something that is aiming right at you.
I have been appointed the Huron Town Historian which, to me, is a great honor because I am now making $.67 per day. That’s right, 67 cents. I have only had time to empty one file cabinet and pull the discintigrating pictures out. If anyone has any ideas on a tactful way to ask the town to provide a self-defrosting refrigerator for the color prints and a de0-humidifier for the summer and an air conditioner, please let me know. Better yet if you would like to do a great honor for the town of Huron and are making more than 67 cents per day, you could just let me know and you may Paypal the funds to me. I will even make a plaque to honor you for the deed. Or, if you are in a good mood you may just send a donation. These pictures are important and every minute that goes by they are corroded more. And, you should know (if you didn’t) that nitrate negatives eventually spontaneously combust so check out your Kodak Safety Film to see what kind you are keeping in the closet. The most exciting thing is that I’ve found relatives. I found a composition book about my Paternal great grandmothers family. I just about had a heart attack when I saw it. So, you see, I’m getting more than 67 cents per day (or less when you consider the ink and paper it takes to copy this stuff for me). I won’t ask for donations for that because that is for me.
Well, this blog was not for anything except that I was in a bad mood and I thought this would cheer me up. I like talking to my friends and if you have read this far…you are my friend. Thank you for cheering me up!

up north

International Happiness Day

For all of you who are enjoying International Happiness Day I just want you to know that I would like you to go jump in a lake in Alaska so that I could enjoy it, too – just by watching your expression. Or, you can slip on the ice in Maine, try to get up, slip again ad infinitum so that I can come out and help you trying to keep a straight face.
When I was young I overheard my father telling my mother that my 1st grade teacher, who lived across the street slipped on the ice and landed on her butt and when he ran over to help the poor old lady up he noticed she had a large hole in her underwear. He was laughing and I assume that I am being a good girl when I follow in my parents footsteps.
And then there was the time that my Mother and Aunt decided to walk around our 11 acre pond up North with me via the fallen logs that are on the rim. I was happy because I could jump from one end of a log to another because I was so agile. Now, what was hysterical (happiness) was when they could not and had to step down into the muck and sunk to their thighs, screaming with “not happiness” because they thought there were things under there (which there were).
Now that I’m cheering myself up (which, I assume, is the purpose of International Happiness Day) I remember being up north in the winter which was not usual because there is no electricity and in the 50s we were really “off the grid”. My older sister was always jealous of my agility. I was able to jump our white picket fence but she always caught her foot and did a face plant. Anyway, it was winter and we had our flying saucers (remember those round metal things?) and of course I went first and went down the hill slicker than a greased pig tilting to steer around the trees to the pond. Then comes my older sister. I swear she hit EVERY tree going down the hill. She was like a pin ball – bam, boom, bounce, bam. I’m sorry but I have to say that I couldn’t help her as she was lying crying at the bottom of the hill. I really, really couldn’t stop laughing. My mother and aunt came flying out the door and sliding down the hill to see if she was hurt (which she wasn’t) and each time they slipped I would start all over again. I was not happy afterwards when they blamed it on me.
Of course there was the time when the joke was on me and I was crossing Pico and Ocean with Tina in my lovely platform shoes when the platform broke and down I went in front of 50,000 people in Santa Monica but I did have to laugh at the expression on my 7 year-old daughter’s face as she took my hand and said “hurry, the walk sign shows a hand!”
Of course I could be happy because our rental car is stuck in the mud in our front yard because I couldn’t drive it anyway because I have a broken foot which happened the same day that our car was totaled. I don’t have a television but while we were waiting for things to cool off at my daughter,s I saw an advertisement that showed a smashed Subaru (which it was) and a man lifting his arms and saying “but we are alive!”.
I could be happy because my Mother was with us and she had just had a splint inserted and she ended up being calmer than my husband and I. I am NOT happy that we were taking a right turn and a car going 90-MPH passed us on the right. Am I happy that he ended up running into an electric pole?
I am happy that all four dogs are here cozy and happy that we can’t go anywhere even though I was supposed to go over to pick up some keys for my new job.
I am happy that I don’t have crutches and just have a boot so that I can carry things around with me.
I’m happy that my furnace works and that my chair is comfortable and that it may be getting closer to Spring. I can tell that because the car is stuck but I’m still keeping the drapes closed to save on oil bills (I’m not happy about that). I’m happy that I could take a shower this morning just by removing my boot even though Karla stole my shampoo bottle and I had to use my husbands shampoo. I still haven’t found it.
I will be happier when I find a place that sells single shoes. Seems like people should have a place to recycle single shoes for those of us who are impaired.
So, have a happy or unhappy International Happiness Day. You may get happier just thinking about what you have or have had to make you happy. Like me – I am happy to have known BillyBob Dog :)


Oh My

Please everyone; take a deap (ha, ha, I like that spelling. I must have been thinking of Johnny Dep). Let’s start over; take a deep breath, relax and then exhale toward Wolcott New York because I am about to go insane. My worry stone has imprints in it from rubbing it so much, I’m out of Lorazipam and now have even MORE wrinkles on my forehead. Too much is happening too fast and of course with me there is always a wee little glitch in everything. Not too bad this time but always a wee glitch.
As I’ve told you, there are probably about 7 towns in this county but it is amazing how roads compare from location to location. I grew up here and lived here until around 21 and I would say that I knew where all the towns were and how to get to them and even what shortcuts. They were all two-lane highways, mostly countryside. All were pretty much straight and perpendicular to each other. So I moved to Los Angeles and refused to drive. I’m sure you have seen on television what the highways are like. Once you are in a lane, you stay in that lane and you move at about 75 miles per hour. Too bad if you get a flat tire. Actually, Los Angeles is a bit like Boston.

So I move to Maine and it takes a few years to not get lost all the time. You get used to the fact that the roads are arcs and circles going around rocks and trees and up and down hills and that everyone drives in the middle of the road because for some reason the roads are made with a hill in the middle (to have the water run off?) but people travel pretty much at a reasonable speed. Just watch out for turkeys and cows crossing the road.
Then I move back to the exact same place I started out from. Same roads. Same towns. Same countryside with straight and perpendicular roads only now everyone is is a BIG hurry. And, I keep getting lost! Trees are larger or missing completely. New houses have been built, old ones painted, curves straightened out. Point is you plan a time limit to get somewhere and are always late! I know where I am but I don’t know how to get there! You get halfway there and you wonder how the heck you got to that place and why you are going in that direction. So, guess who was late for jury duty (all though, just in time to have my name called to be interviewed). Then I ask to affirm rather than swear and they start asking all these questions that don’t make any sense. And, you have to tell all this personal information and everyone can hear it. Jeeze, even my Dentist was there! The limit was when the attorney stated “now remember, this trial is just for rape, not forcible rape. We are not judging if the rape was forced”. I wait for one of the pod people in the courtroom to say something. Not a thing! So I say “excuse me but how could you consider it rape if it wasn’t forced?” All hell breaks loose, everyone in the courtroom starts laughing and rolling on the floor. When things calm down the Judge tells me that I am not to ask the attorney questions, I am to ask the Judge questions. Anyway, I wasn’t chosen so that’s over with.
Then at 7:30 is the Town Supervisors Meeting. Another Lorazipam. Big mistake because it was a very, very long boring meeting mostly about hiring someone to cut the weeds in the bay this summer, buying a new truck and which account to take the money out for each. Finally, at the end it was the unanimous decision to hire me as the Town Historian. HOORAY!!!!! And, to make it even better, I’ll make $.69 per hour!!! I was elated but didn’t have a hard time going to sleep.
This morning first thing I had to go into the town hall with my social security card and my driver’s license. Driver’s license – no problem but the last time I saw my SS card was years ago when Paul’s bank that employed him was purchased by a company in India and there was a chance that he would have to go over there for a couple of weeks and I was darned if I wasn’t going over with him. So I got the SS cards, the Birth Certificates (which took a few weeks for me because I was born at a Military Base) and the questionnaires together, clipped them and put them on his desk for when he had a chance to go with me to get our pictures for our passports. Of course, Paul didn’t even remember India much less where the folder was. Now, his office and the upstairs bathroom which are his are not entered by me unless there is an emergency. He puts his dirty clothes in a basket by the door, I plug my nose, reach in to get them and quickly close the door and that’s it. So, no SS card. I took the piece of paper that your SS card is ripped from and my letter from the SS with what I will be getting which luckily had my number on it into the town hall and they took it. For now. And that doesn’t help with our birth certificates.
Then since my Mother had a stint inserted last week I went over to see her for a while and my whole day is shot.
I have homework to do on a web course that I am taking that is due soon.
Saturday my daughter is taking us to dinner for our anniversary and we are going shopping.
Sunday I’m going with a friend to see Hamlet.
Next Sunday is a Handling Seminar that is about 3 hours away.
Remember that this is an Agraphobic speaking that never leaves the house. SEND CALM PLEASE!!!

Ruby Two

For anyone’s information (if they even care), I have decided to just send Ruby’s husband a nice (written) card and feel sorry for myself here instead of paying $1,000 to feel sorry for myself. I will wait for the Memorial moment and will sit here and remember here. There are a few reasons for this decision other than the cost. Later, after I had written my last post I sat down to see the logistics from here to there and back again. I emailed one of my special friends to see if he would escort me to the memorial because he knew her even better than I and we were still keeping in touch and we had been almost best friends. I know he had been best friends with my husband and they had worked together. When we moved to Northern California he often came up to visit and party with us. He responded with “No, I’m not going to the Memorial” That was it. So, blubber mouth that I am I asked “well, don’t you even want to see me?” and he replied with “of course, maybe we can do brunch.”
Well, I have to admit that that sucked the air out of my lungs for a few minutes. Brunch? After not seeing each other for 30 years? That’s it? I mean, it’s not that I wanted him to jump my bones but gee – how about a little pleasure, excitement and surprise about seeing each other again after so long? So, I lost two friends and that took care of the rest of the day. As my husband says…”stupid is as stupid does, you’re way too sensitive and I can’t tell you what to do or say because I hate people myself”.
Alrightee then. I must have misunderstood. I’m always doing that so, blubber mouth that I am, I called my “friend” (forgetting the time difference between NY and CA) and said “what the heck is going on with you? (using a different word) and he said “can’t we talk about this later”, which I replied “no, I want it straight off the cuff”. So he explained that I’m a little more sensitive than most friends and he has “moved on” from that group of people. I asked “and me?” He said, “yes, and you”. I asked him about all the emails, the telephone calls, the Christmas cards… and he said he didn’t mind them but that he had “moved on”. OK. Well then. I said thanks, hung up the telephone and grabbed a dry dog.
I’m sorry. I can’t believe that. Are all my past friends past. Should I only send Christmas cards to my new friends? Maybe I should send Christmas cards to my old friends and always mark them “Postmaster: Please advise Moving On Address”. No wonder this world is so screwed up! I mean, should I be tough and that way, too? If I see an old woman walking down the street with her purse should I grab it an run thinking that “hey, if I wouldn’t have taken it then someone else would”! Well, youch. I’m thinking that maybe I don’t want to be here so much any more and that it is a really good thing that they invented my brand of antidepressant even though it doesn’t work as well on some days.
But then it came to me. Like a bolt of lightning actually. NO! He has not moved on. I have left him behind. And if he tripped and fell and I turned around and saw him, stupid or not, darned if I wouldn’t go back and help him. I’ve always supposed that I’m on a different path than a lot of people that I know and my friends are on that same path with me. Now I’ve learned that some of my friends just give up and sit down on a stump and there they stay until karma hits them up again.
So, I’m not feeling too well, but I am feeling better and my other friends are just going to have to tell me (if they want) that they are tired and want to sit and wave me on. Only this time I’ll see the wave.